Every love story doesn't have smooth sailing. The times and traditions are changing in terms of choosing partners. As an adult, you can choose your partner, but for some people, it's really important to get their parent's approval. It doesn't feel good to be stuck in a situation where you love your boyfriend, but your parents don't like him. When you love someone, you start thinking: "My parents don't like my boyfriend. What should I do?" When this happens, cool off a little bit and think logically. Whether it's your partner's fault or not, sort it out with both your parents and boyfriend.
Try to Close the Gap
Instead of thinking: "I love him, but my parents don't approve", work on making your parents see the good in your boyfriend. There are six ways listed below to help your parents see the bright side of your relationship.
1. Take their worries into consideration
First of all, don't criticize them bluntly for disapproving your partner. Instead of thinking negatively and saying: "my dad doesn't like my boyfriend", reflect deeply on their concerns. Try to find out why "my parents don't like my boyfriend". As Tina B. Tessina, a psychotherapist and the author of How to be Happy Partners: Working it out Together says, "Maybe you have a negative family, or maybe it's your partner who's the problem. Step back and take an objective look at who your partner is to your family." Once you try to think objectively, you'll get your answers.
2. Talk to them with patience
Straight talk with patience and a calm attitude is necessary if you want everyone to be happy. Don't argue and ask them why they don't like your boyfriend. If your parents always give good advice, take it into consideration. If they are simply disapproving him because of a different ethnicity or background, try to win them over with solid conversation. Try to listen to their point of view and see if it has any strong basis. If not, then try to convince them politely. At the end of the day, it's your life, and you should be making your own decisions.
3. Prove that your choice is right
When your parents bring up things about your boyfriend they don't like, try to prove that your choice is correct. If you are certain that their criticism is not proper, then arrange a meeting with your boyfriend. There are other ways to show them that he is a good person and right for you. For example, if they think he has a bad habit, prove that he doesn't have any such habit. Talk about the good things he does and most important of all, arrange an activity your boyfriend and parents can do together. It will help in bridging the gap if you are successful in bringing them closer.
4. Make a balance between your parents and relationship
Keeping a clear head and not taking sides is very important if you want to resolve this situation. Whether it's your parents who are depicting your boyfriend negatively or your partner is trying to manipulate you, don't incline to one side only. Listen to everyone but be firm about your own opinion and choice. Disagree in a respectful way whether it's your parents trying to persuade you to leave him or your boyfriend trying to turn you against your family. It's not a win or lose situation, so keeping a balance between your family and your boyfriend is going to make things a little better.
5. Ask a relative for help
If you think that you can't handle it anymore, involve people you trust. Get their opinion about your boyfriend. Ask them that you need their help to arrange a dinner to invite your boyfriend at home. It might be a good start, and more people can see your perspective too. Prepare your boyfriend for the situation and tell him to be kind and respectful.
6. Help them accept a different perspective
Sometimes parents are simply protective, and they insist that their perspective is right. Show them that you are mature enough to know what is right and what is wrong. Help them realize that if someone is from a different background, it doesn't mean that he is a bad person. Even if he doesn't share their values, show them that he respects them. Your boyfriend's attitude will play a huge role in this regard. If he is a sensible man and loves you, he will try to take one step at a time. Instead of being stressed out, take it slow and show them the good side of your partner and your relationship. Maybe a time will come when you'll stop thinking "my parents don't like my boyfriend".
If they allow it, try bringing him to meet them. Let him do something positive for them, such as planning a picnic, fixing something at home or meeting his family. It will finally broaden their perspective, and they might change their mind.
Finally, it all boils down to why your parents disapprove of your boyfriend. Listen to them if their concerns are genuine. Try to get help from someone you trust and ask them if your parents are right. It will save you from getting hurt in the long run. However, if your parents don't want to see beyond their beliefs and values, make your own choice and hold your ground. Try to convince them slowly by using the tips given in this article.
At the end of the day, your parents want the best for you, but it's your life, and you should take responsibility if you have made a commitment to your boyfriend.