Once you were in love and the next thing you know is that you are parting ways. It hurts like hell and you are longing for another chance to fix things. However, "fixing" the relationship only works when both people want to make amends and they still love each other.
"Love doesn't just sit there, like a stone, it has to be made, like bread; remade all the time, made new." – Ursula K. Le Guin, The Lathe of Heaven.
If it's not really over for you, then you have to be sure whether your ex still loves you. So, how to know if your ex still loves you? You have to get a clear idea by identifying signs from his actions and behavior to know about his true feelings for you.
Recognizing the Signs
Give yourself some time to reflect and not obsess over the fact that you are not together anymore. You need that distance to clarify your mind and to figure out whether both of you have a chance for a second shot. Just keep one thing in mind- even if your ex loves you and cares about you, it doesn't mean that he/she wants to get back together. You have to be patient and look for the signs that your ex still cares about you and then think about how to get your ex back. Some of the signs that he/she still wants to get back with you are described in the text below.
1. Your ex still contacts you
If your ex still calls you and finds excuses to contact you, then he/she still has feelings for you. If you are being called to check if you are doing okay, it means that your ex still has a soft spot for you and they are worried about you.
2. "Accidentally" meeting you
If you see your ex in your usual places and they simply want to chat, it means that they care. If you are wondering how to know if your ex still loves you, then this is a clear sign that they still have feelings for you. "Accidentally" being in places where you hang around shows that they want to stay in touch or possibly get back together.
3. Staying in touch with your friends
If your ex is staying in touch with your close friends and even family members, then it's a good sign that your relationship might stand a chance. An even better sign is if they ask about you and your well-being. If that's the case, you might think about calling or meeting your ex and be open to listen and understand what they have to say.
4. Tells you straight up: "I love you"
If your ex is trying to convey that they miss you in some indirect way, it usually means that they miss being with you. But when they tell you straight up: "I love you", then there is no shadow of a doubt. Take it slow and work through difficult times. Hopefully, you two can make things work again.
5. Your ex isn't dating anyone
When your ex chooses to stay single and doesn't date anyone after the breakup, that can be a sign that they still have feelings for you. It can, however, also mean that they are not ready to enter a new relationship.
6. Calling you in the hour of need
If your ex calls you whenever they are in a difficult situation or they need emotional support, they are not able to cope with the breakup. They still rely on you to give advice or help them out. Simply put, they are still thinking about you!
7. Being nostalgic
If your ex keeps bringing up old memories, they want to relive that happy time that happened at some point in your relationship. They might want to patch things up.
8. Sharing their thoughts
If your ex brings up the issues both of you had during the relationship or what went wrong, then they are thinking about doing things differently if it happens to be next time. There can be a next time for both of you because he/she has strong feelings for you.
9. They imagine a future with you
Sharing their future dreams with you, especially if you are an important part of these projections, is a strong indicator of their feelings for you.
10. Trying to cheer you up
If your ex tries to cheer you up whenever you are upset, they care about you.
11. Curious about your love life
If they are showing curiosity about the new people you hang out or you are possibly dating, they haven't gotten over the break-up. They still have feelings for you but these feelings can be a mix of positive and negative emotions.
12. Not giving all your things back
Typically, people hold on to personal things when they don't want to let go. If your ex is keeping the old things, this can be a positive sign and you may get back together.
13. Behavior around you
If your ex still smiles at you or looks at you in a good way, even after it's been a while since you last met, it's a clear indicator that he/she still has a love for you.
14. Self-Improvement
Learning from a painful experience and focusing on self-improvement are the qualities you should look for in your ex. If they are more mature and are open to give a second chance to this relationship, then you might be heading in the right direction.
15. Sharing big moments
You share big moments only with important people in your life. If your ex is sharing his joys with you, they still care about you!
16. Being angry
If they are still angry at you after the breakup, they have strong feelings for you. But both of you need time to figure out what you want.
17. Happy to hear from you
If you haven't been in touch and they are happy when you reach out, they still have feelings for you. But don't jump to conclusions too quickly.
18. Asking to catch up
If your ex reaches out and wants to meet, it means they still care about you. Try to learn the difference whether they just want to see you or they want to be together again. This can be confusing at times.
19. They stop going out
If your ex isn't contacting you or anybody else and they have stopped going outside, they are perhaps still hurting. This sign is a little ambiguous but if you are really concerned about them, call them or drop by to see if they are doing okay.
20. They ask you to come back
What does it mean when your ex dreams about you? This is what you want from them. If this happens, it's one of the most straightforward things they can say to renew their relationship with you.
A Moment of Reflection
Taking time to think and reflect is important for both of you if you want to give a second chance to your relationship. Don't rush forward to conclusions if you see any of these signs mentioned above in your ex's behavior. Let the matters cool down and then write a detailed letter or email, apologizing if you were at fault. They may take time to respond but if they are totally indifferent, you need to let go and stop obsessing about rekindling the old passion.
If your ex does respond positively and they also want to start fresh with you, be open and communicate your feelings. Figure out a way not to repeat the old mistakes. As Arundhati Roy says: "That's what careless words do. They make people love you a little less." Find a balance and focus on strengthening your relationship.