For viewing this post alone, you are an incredibly strong person. That's because not everyone has evolved the willpower to want to let go of love nor to learn how to stop loving someone. Therefore, it won't be flattery to opine that you deserve several thumbs-up, as well as a heartfelt bear hug.
With that said, having realized how destructive it would be to keep begging your lover to stay when they want to leave, your next action should be to follow these gradual but effective steps for how to stop loving someone fast below:
1. Assure Yourself Daily That There Is No Going Back on Your Decision
In a majority of ways, Hollywood movies have succeeded in confusing us in regards to how a real life breakup takes effect. Also, we've seen romantic movies that have couples breakup and the worst-hit person will be stalking the ex and pleading to be taken back.
Frankly, if you want to fall out of love quickly with someone, you have to burn any bridge in your thoughts that can possibly facilitate your crossing over for anything stupid, like in the movies.
Regardless of how much you want to be back with them, remember that it wouldn't be in your best interest to walk back to where you were vehemently rejected. Especially if your ex has forged ahead with their lives without as much as glancing back for a goodbye smile. Therefore, there's definitely no going back on your decision to also move on with your life.
2. Accept That Falling out of Love Is a Serious Affair
The answer to "Can you ever stop loving someone?" is "Yes." However, this is by no means child's play. Someone anonymously said, "It is easier to fall in love than to fall out of love." Prepare to pay a dear price in conditioning your heart to stop beating for that person as it used to. Also bear in mind that the process of heart reconditioning and lesser thoughts of your lover won't be an easy feat.
You'll be tapped of mental energy, emotionally drained, and you will be compelled to employ conscious mindfulness to successfully unlove them. However, this is nothing to be worried about, because it will totally be worth the effort. For it's better to push through into victory, albeit painfully, than to remain defeated as a result of heartbreak.
3. Dwell on the Good From the Situation
When you really think about it, there's a blessing in every disappointment. Some of us wouldn't have discovered the amount of strength for success in us if we hadn't been rejected. To unlove someone fast, it is wise that you don't allow your thoughts to rehash the bad done to you by a so-called lover.
Obviously, you will be creating an internally toxic environment by thinking of the negatives which, in turn, can foster depression, feelings of worthlessness, and frustration. In addition, you will make little progress in unloving someone if you keep poisoning yourself with unhealthy thoughts.
In order to make good progress in unloving someone, stay mindful of the potential goodness of the breakup. The wonderful prospect of exploring the beauty of the future is one of such goodness.
4. Always Affirm Your Loving Qualities
The truth is, it will be easier to unlove someone when you "selfishly'' occupy yourself with the thoughts that affirm your attractiveness, sweetness, and lovingness. The more you think about your endearing qualities, the less you will be worried that you were the reason for the person's exit from your life. In essence, their not loving you is solely their problem, not yours.
Know that you are too blessed to be stressed, and this is true only when you always acknowledge your likeableness.
5. Break Contacts With Them
In some quarters, you'll be asked to limit your contact with someone you want to unlove. But if you want to unlove them fast, we advise you to cut them off completely. Totally. Unfriend them on Facebook and unfollow them on Instagram. Delete their phone numbers and block them on Whatsapp. In cases where you can't help meeting them in person because of the nature of your work, try not to walk up to them for any small talk, and don't entertain theirs.
By all means, take drastic measures in ensuring that you see nothing, hear nothing, and do nothing that involves them until you can attest that you have fully gotten over them. And while you are at it, never visit their favorite places as you used to do in the past.
6. Date Casually, for Now
A rebound relationship happens out of frustration after a failed romantic relationship in the recent past. Logically viewed, going out to date other people after a breakup is therapeutic. But only when it is done with no serious intention to pursue romance.
You have to heal first before getting into another committed relationship to avoid venting your suppressed frustration on your innocent partner. When you casually date people after a breakup, abstain from sexual relations because it will only bring you confusion about who you'll eventually be committed to. So, go out, meet people, loosen up, and enjoy your healing process.
7. Keep Your Family and Friends Close
Actually, these are the people who can't stop loving you come what may. At this point in your life, they are your anchor and rock. Hence, you should keep them close and welcome their words of reassurance. With your family, you can be sure of the right pieces of advice about how to cope, because they're already acquainted with your personality.
If you have wonderful friends, they will help you focus on your strength and offer their support including doing chores for you when you are disenchanted.
8. Discard Mementos
Within the time you've known that person, you must have preserved items that keep memories of them alive. Now is the time to get rid of those mementos if you want to minimize how much you think of them.
Remove all of them, starting with their lock of hair cello-taped to your wallet and ending with their clothes and shoes in your room. You can also donate some of the gifts you have received from them to charity.
9. Improve Yourself
While no one should be blamed for the failure of a romantic relationship, it is wise that you take your time to appraise yourself and improve where necessary with respect to the failure. For example, what were the things you did or didn't do that drained the relationship? How can you strengthen your weaknesses? What decisions of yours will help you be the right person for the right relationship?
When you face yourself to thrash out the wrongs in you, you'll be able to perceive your past relationship as your training ground for a wonderful commitment ahead.
10. It Is Possible You Will Need Professional Help
The mentality that a counselor is only sought after when you are almost losing your mind is wrong. In fact, the earlier you present yourself to be counseled on how to unlove someone, the healthier it will be for you. Just as you are reading this post while you can, it's wise to increase the knowledge you've acquired for action by visiting a professional counselor. It wouldn't feel as though you are talking to a shrink.
Do you ever stop loving someone? Yes, you do. You only have to be committed to the journey. Of course, it doesn't promise to be an easy venture since it's the person that you once loved that we are talking about here.
However, with your mind firmly set on the benefits of moving on by unloving them, you will have little or nothing to regret from considering them dead and gone to you. It's likely they have even forgotten your name and can no longer remember the sound of your loving voice. You should forgive and forget them too!