Romantic relationships are good for the soul. Even long-distance relationships are wonderful though they can be difficult at times. Love in long-distance relationships is not always meant to last. One of the most difficult concerns is keeping the fire of love burning when distance separates you and your partner.
After all, the reason for having a relationship is to get a partner who is present to make moments of merry even merrier and tough times less painful. It can be a struggle if you are unable to see your partner regularly.
Unfortunately, it does not matter the effort you put into it because you are bound to start noticing some gaps in your relationship. It can be rushing to your soul, but it is vital not to ignore the red lights that potentially imply all is not well. Here are a few subtle signs long distance isn't working for you.
What Are the Signs?
Long-distance relationships are not meant for everyone. They require more effort to maintain the bond between lovers. There is the need to find ways to ensure your presence in your partner's life through daily calls or check-ins, video calls, and sending surprise gifts. However, if one or both partners are not putting adequate efforts, a relationship is bound to collapse.
1. You stop scheduling time to see one another
You no longer feel the urge to get in touch with each other. You are always busy, or something comes in your schedule to interrupt your contact times. Even when you are free, there is always an excuse that stops you from checking in on each other. You and your partner no longer see the importance of planning to see each in real life.
2. Your communication decreases
You used to communicate daily, then it changed to weekly communication, and finally monthly. Now you communicate occasionally! One of the most unmistakable signs a long-distance relationship is falling apart is the deterioration of communication between the partners. Weak communication cannot sustain your long-distance relationship because you are growing apart from your partner.
3. You are not their priority yet
Prioritizing someone is as easy as planning a Skype date and making sure you honor it no matter what comes up. You cannot prioritize your partner at all times, but they must be most of the time. Both partners must put effort to overcome the challenge of physical separation. If your partner keeps rescheduling activities you are supposed to do together, it means you are no longer their priority.
4. You don't know what they have been doing recently
You or your partner no longer knows about each other what is happening in life. You get to hear things about them from other people. You only get to see the things they are doing or the new people in their life on social media. He/she is slowly building a life without you.
Look no further if you are the person that wonders why "my long-distance relationship is falling apart!" Chances are your partner doesn't feel the same way if they do not feel the urge to update you about events in life.
5. They are not making efforts
Out of all the signs that long-distance isn't working, the one that people ignore the most is a one-way effort in maintaining the relationship. This means that only one partner makes an effort to sustain contact, whether through phone calls, texts, or other means. One partner gets busier and finds no urgency in getting in touch with the other.
If your partner is making excuses for not returning your call or replying to your text, your long-distance relationship is dying gradually. You or your partner is neglecting each other by not putting extra effort to meet each other's needs.
6. They show no interests in your life
Your partner memorized your birthday, but now he/she does not seem to know when it is! You tell him/her of your ongoing project, but they show no interest, let alone offer you support. To them, it is like you no longer exist. This means that you are out of sight, and definitely out of his/her mind!
One or both of you are not willing to create time daily to assure each other they are special, needed, and cherished even without their physical presence. You or your partner blatantly show or tell each other that you need something more or different.
7. The number and intensity of your arguments have increased
It could be over serious issues or minuscule things. In finding signs long distance isn't working, you need to look out for unnecessary arguments. It is unhealthy for you and your partner to argue over all important or unimportant issues. It is worse if you are not able to confront the underlying issues directly.
Sometimes, the separation can result in impatience and prolonged episodes of unwarranted anger. You find that the simple things your partner has been doing or does swiftly change your mood from calmness to rage. Consequently, fights arise that are potentially not worth wasting breath over.
8. Time together is not happily spent
You have planned over the weekend or holiday to spend quality time together, but it ends up wrongly! You realize that the majority of the time is spent in arguments or revisiting the fights, which were initiated from phone calls or texts. Your long-distance relationship is obviously struggling on its death-bed.
If you notice the little time you spend together is mainly focused on frustration and resentment, it is time for you to reevaluate the state of your relationship.
What Is the Way Forward?
There are many signs long-distance isn't working that are unique to each couple and each particular situation. It is up to you to do a self-evaluation and see where your long-distance relationship stands. Does it have a future? Is it worth salvaging? Whatever option you choose, make sure you discuss it with your partner to come up with a mutually satisfying outcome.