Being in a relationship with a guy does not necessarily mean that he is in love with you. Some guys (and sadly, girls too) usually prefer the thrill, convenience, and security of having a stable partner because they do not like being alone. In the long run, he might be only using you to pass the time, but he does not value you.
Nowadays, it is very common to be in one-sided relationships without realizing it. He is not worth your energy if he is only interacting with you to get rid of his loneliness. You may notice it, but you find it difficult to believe it – you simply go into denial!
It is usual for humans to enter a state of denial when their needs outnumber their desires by a landslide. Judgment is usually clouded in these circumstances to the extent that the obvious becomes blurred. Here are a few signs he's just lonely that you can look out for if you suspect he is not into you.
Is He Using Me Because He Is Lonely?
It is your emotional well-being that is at stake. If you feel he is not treating you as his soul mate, then he is probably with you just because he is lonely. Watch out for yourself that you don't get hurt in the long run.
1. He doesn't care what your friends think of him
He is only in the relationship for his benefit. Most likely, he does not care about establishing relations with your friends or even family because he does not intend to get into a serious relationship with you. Because you have given him feedback from your friends, he is always looking to avoid spending time with you when your friends are around. He is only making you happy to serve his interests, but he never goes the extra mile for you.
2. He is never serious about your relationship
He has not stated what he wants with you. He does not share his plans with you. You may be comfortable with this routine for the moment, but eventually, you will want your relationship to progress. It probably means doing things together or even moving in together. You find yourself wondering, "is he using me because he's lonely?" If he is unwilling to share his relationship plans with you, he probably dates you out of loneliness.
3. He needs a lot of care from you
He is always delicate emotionally, easily gets irritated by mundane things, and you always have to be cautious with what you say or do to him. Maybe he is recovering from a previous heartbreak that he has not gotten over. He is rarely available for your sensual needs and sulks a lot if you don't meet his needs.
4. He can drop you if better plans come up
Many lonely guys do this to women until they ask themselves "does he love me or is he just lonely?" It is when a guy doesn't really love you, yet he wishes to have a girl around for moments he needs company. However, if a better plan comes up, he may drop you.
5. He is unwilling to get to know you
One of the most unmistakable signs he's just lonely is when he keeps flirting even when it is unnecessary. However, he never goes beyond that… he doesn't do anything special for you. He is only there for the thrill of dating and having someone by his side. It is likely he is doing it to keep you around because he doesn't like being alone. He has no intention of having a relationship with you.
6. He doesn't take you out for a date
Every time you plan to go out with him, he finds a reason to cancel. Understandably, life is crazy, and we may not have time to see people irrespective of how much we want. However, if he keeps canceling on you repeatedly without making sure to reschedule or make up with the next available opportunity, it is a red light you do not feature in his plans… you are only a convenience!
7. He disappears suddenly and then reappears
Ghosting is one of the most obvious signs he's just lonely and only using you. He will suddenly disappear and never bother to return calls or reply messages. He seems to have benched you until he needs your attention again. If your interaction with him is not constant, it could mean he is only with you to avoid loneliness or boredom. When he has gotten what he wants from you, he will leave again.
8. He has dumped you before
What will stop him from doing it again when he finds a better option! To him, you are his pastime activity, and dating does not feature in his mind. He has probably decided you are not his soulmate, but he knows he will get a second chance.
Maybe he came back because he misses the sex and the things you do for him. Either way, it spells doom for your emotional well-being. Do not give him another opportunity to use you!
9. He avoids talking about future plans with you
When a guy is in love with a girl, he will always find a reason and way of talking about where the relationship is headed. He is only having a good time with you because he is lonely if you realize that he keeps evading the future subject. He does not intend to be with you if he changes the topic when you talk about moving in together or marriage. Cut your losses and move on with your life… you deserve better!
Watch Out for Yourself
A lonely guy can quickly turn you into an emotional wreck once he has turned on your feelings and ends up leaving you hanging. It is always good to give him the benefit of the doubt, but you should be wary of the signs he's just lonely. There are many guys craving to have you in their life, so do not get entrapped by a lonely guy!