There are several reasons why men cheat while in courtship. The reasons could be based on the individual or their partner. However, men are not always to blame when cheating or misunderstandings are experienced in a relationship. Couples are advised to visit marriage counselors or mentors to solve issues that cannot get sorted between the two of them. Sometimes home wrangles have repercussions, for example, divorce, separation, or uncontrolled partner cheating, especially for men. Thus, the content below seeks to answer the question - Why do men cheat?
8 Reasons Why Men Cheat
Cheating men will come up with various excuses for their behavior or come up with blame for their actions. Below is a detailed explanation of the reasons why some men cheat.
1. Unfulfilled emotional needs
Partners in a relationship need to be emotionally connected. This means that one partner fully understands the feelings of the other and vice-versa. When a man feels emotionally disconnected from their partners, and they find themselves not sexually aroused after seeing them, this can lead to cheating. In these cases it is the emotional withdraw that will lead to cheating.
2. Diminished ego, insecurity or lost thrill
Every relationship comes with a thrill that seems to take control of the partners. A thrill is excitement and pleasure that keeps the couples going. But, when that thrill is absent, two people might feel like strangers around each other. Feelings of insecurity may arise, and a man may feel as if they are not loved anymore.
Men get driven by manhood ego. Those sweet words from their partners like "you look handsome," and "I love your chest" do matter a lot in installing self-confidence and ego. If the partner chooses not to reinforce the male ego, and your man gets that reassurance elsewhere, cheating may well follow. For those who ask why do guys cheat, a close study will reveal diminished ego, insecurity, or lost thrill as some of the main reasons.
3. Selfishness
Some men only consider their own needs. Therefore, they can lie and keep secrets without any feelings of remorse provided it gets them what they want. Although they may have taken vows to remain committed to the relationship, they still eventually cheat on their spouses. Meaning, they only care about their pleasure source and not what their wife or partner will feel if they find out.
4. Distraction
Distraction mostly occurs when attention meant for someone gets diverted to other things. Once courtship is finished or the family is now intact, responsibilities will arise, and they have to get taken care of. In a family, there are several responsibilities. For example, there are kids to be looked after, work to do, and money to earn. When all these distract one partner from giving attention to the other, the other partner may feel neglected. This distraction may make a man want to go out of the marriage to get satisfaction somewhere else while still having their spouse and family intact.
5. Sexual addiction
The constant urge for sex can help explain why men cheat. Both women and men can have this problem, but it is more common in men. Being sexually addicted comes with negative consequences. For example, in a case where a married man has limited time with their spouse due to reasons like work, yet they are sexually addicted, it is often inevitable that they will end up cheating.
6. Going through a 'second adolescence'
At times, an adult may undergo a stage known as 'second adolescence'. This is a stage where you find one partner is in a relationship, but they act like adolescents. They are not committed to the relationship, and they go out of the marriage looking for other partners to fulfill their needs. These second adolescents are in search of separation and individuation. They want to have someone at home for security purposes; someone to welcome them home but still look for outside relationships with other partners.
7. Narcissistic qualities
Narcissists are self-centered people with a feeling of self-importance. These people have a sense of entitlement, and they always feel on top or above all. In a relationship where a man displays narcissistic qualities, it is more likely that they will cheat. The reason why these men cheat is that they do not care about the feelings of those they love or are involved with, they only care about themselves. They look for pleasure anywhere, regardless of whether this will hurt someone if they do so.
8. Confusion about limerence versus commitment
The question why do men cheat revolves around limerence versus commitment. Limerence refers to a state of mind where one thinks or wishes to have some romantic time with another person. It is also the thoughts, fantasies, and the desire to form and maintain a relationship with a person and have one's feelings reciprocated. Limerence is mostly referred to as a 'crush', and sometimes the feelings may disappear after initiation.
Commitment, on the other hand, is more of a dedication to a person. Mistakenly, one could rush for love failing to understand that a relationship comes with commitment and trust. Once the feelings of limerence are gone, and the feeling of quitting that relationship sets in; cheating occurs.
Take Home Message
In conclusion, the above content gives detailed explanations on the topic why do men cheat. It is important to note that every man may have different reasons for cheating. However, communication is the key for any relationship to work. Other options like couples therapy and being open and honest can help a shaky relationship avoid adverse effects like divorce or separation.