Ending a relationship is never easy, and with a long-distance relationship, it can be even tougher. There are significantly more variables, and the scope of misunderstanding is even greater. Knowing how to end a long-distance relationship will not make it easier but, surely, the aftertaste won't be as bitter as otherwise.
The fact that you had a long-distance relationship means that both of you have spent a considerable amount of time making it work, and that is what makes it a tough call and painful process after already investing the time. That also makes it important that you end on amicable terms.
Top Tips About How to End a Long-Distance Relationship
Frankly, there are no foolproof ways to end a relationship. However, when you are planning to call it quits, it is important to remember both the troughs as well as the crests of your relationship. That will ensure that you get a handle on how to end a long-distance relationship and take a calibrated call on the road forward.
1. Don't make the end too abrupt
Everything slows down in a long-distance relationship. The feeling of falling out of love, the sense of drifting apart and this is exactly why even the break up needs to be gradual. Let your partner know well in advance that you want to talk about something important, and then take it forward from there. Don't trivialize the matter, and try to approach it sensitively.
Remember, both of you are in it, and even the way you end it needs to reflect this basic fact. This also helps you give better closure for all of you. It creates a sense of normalcy and does not make life post a break-up too tedious or painful. Moreover, if a new love interest is a reason for the break-up, a proper closure will also weed out a potential sense of guilt from the entire relationship, if at all.
2. Do it in person, at least over the phone
One of the basics of how to break up with a long-distance girlfriend or boyfriend is to try to make it as personal as possible. Avoiding and disappearing might be easier, but it makes the break-up that much bitter. It creates a deep sense of bitterness and can even have repercussions later. So pick up the phone, find out how he or she is doing and gradually break the news to them. Sensitivity will not just make it easier, but it will also help both of you take the relationship to the next level. You can continue to watch each other's back even after a break-up, provided it is done right.
Also, be very frank in your approach. If you ask me, honesty is one of the primary demands of the manual on how to end a long-distance relationship. Don't beat around the bush and try being as honest as you can be. If you found someone you feel more affectionate towards, so be it. But make sure that you are clear. Don't mislead your partner or give them false hope like a short-term time-out and similar promises that you might be tempted to make to simply get out of the fix.
3. Initiate the conversation and say what you want to say
How you initiate the conversation is very important. Don't make it a short call where you simply blurt out your decision and do it. Make it a personal and engaging session. It helps if you place it in a way that your partner feels they are one who dumped you instead of vice-versa. A bit of an ego boost, it can often help a lot of people react to it better and adjust in life after that with relative ease and pleasantness.
Remember, for you, it doesn't matter who ends it. What matters is that it is done. Both of you are going to remember this for a long time, and I am sure, it is only human to consider one-self the victim. But keep all these individualistic approaches aside and make it as impersonal and unbiased as you can make.
This will ensure that the ending a long-distance relationship with your partner does not go against you. For all your fallacies, your partner will always remember the soothing and pleasant end to this relationship. That itself can be a big win for you even while giving up something special.
4. Be firm and patient
It is possible that when you break up with your partner, the other person gets emotional. They might start hurling blame at you and create a scene. They could also start shouting or crying aloud. But make sure that you do not get too worked up by that. You have to be both firm and patient. Don't just delay the break-up because you cannot handle your partner crying. This is only going to worsen the eventual end where each one will have even more grouse against each other.
What works better is a frank confession about your exact feelings, but do not convey it in a hurtful way. It should not sound like you are blaming the other person. Patiently look at conveying what and how you feel and stick to that. Don't waver from your core point and try to make your partner see your perspective and your reasons.
5. Try not to make it one-sided
The reason many long-distance breakups are messy is that people are too obsessed with their feelings and refuse to see the other person's perspective. This can cause unavoidable complications and even scar a relationship for good. One of the easiest ways would be to make it a fair and unbiased hearing. Your partner may list out his or her side of grievances as well. Don't try to either justify them or portray that it is their entire fault. Don't just keep harping on the hurt that you have experienced.
As long-distance relationships often need a greater level of love and dedication and commitment. When all of it is coming to naught, a sense of despondency is obvious. Do not try to avoid it. Remind yourself that it is a two-way street. Blame begets blame and compassion does the vice versa. Therefore, it is always in your interest to keep the conversation neutral and simply communicate your decision in a neutral manner. There are times if you create a dialogue, the other person may also accept that they were also looking for exit alleys. That way, you can easily shirk away from a load of being the bearer of bad news.
6. Return your partner's possessions
Dignity and integrity are crucial when you are debating on ways to make the long-distance breakup as painless as possible. Often, I have seen the common ground couples begin squabbling are their belongings. When in love, people often share some of their most precious possessions, but when they are falling out of love, these could become the bone of contention too. As a break-up is never easy, and this only complicates the whole process even further and also has the potential to make it ugly and unpleasant.
The easiest way is often the most dignified way. Simply list out the stuff that you have and even without their asking tell them how you plan to return them. It can be over courier after six months, but if the information comes unasked, it will make it that much better. This also helps cut out the bitterness of a break-up to a large extent. It convinces the other person that you may no longer be in the game for the relationship but still, care about their feelings and will not hurt them. Your compassion and sensitivity can often be the balm that the break-up needs.
Conclusion
Therefore, it is clear that it will never be simple to end any relationship, but being sensitive about how to end a long-distance relationship will help lessen the sting a lot more. Life is short and not worth either being hurt or hurting someone intentionally. Be polite, pleasant and try to end on a friendly note. Empathize and try addressing it as a joint problem. Make the end a cordial one.