Desire is a feeling that makes your blood boil. It's something that gives you goosebumps; something that gives you a throbbing sensation down there. You have felt it coming from your partner. So, what about making him feel it too?
If you are clueless when it comes to how to initiate sex, then you can quickly learn a few ways that will arouse his interest. Prepare for rejection too, though. Factors such as being tired and stress could cause your boyfriend to ask for a raincheck.
10 Ways to Get It on With Your Partner
Depending on your boyfriend's preferences as well as your comfort zone, there are a few ways you can try to arouse his sexual interest. Put your fear of being silly or unattractive away, because he is already into you and can't wait for you to express your sexuality with him.
1. Up your flirting game
When you want to have sex with your boyfriend, turn your flirting game around. As a piece of general advice, you shouldn't stop flirting with your man even after years of marriage. Keep the flame burning between you two by acting like you just met and you want to seduce him.
He will notice what you're trying to do immediately, especially if you two have stopped flirting with each other lately. Your initiative can only have an enticing effect on him. However, if he passes on your advances, don't get discouraged. He might not be in the mood at that specific moment. Tease him whenever you get a chance!
2. Have an open discussion with him
"My boyfriend wants me to initiate more, but I have no idea where to begin." If this is something you say to yourself, then an open discussion can help you figure out what you have to do. Talking about this subject might not feel comfortable at first, but it might end up with the two of you in the bedroom. So, ask your partner what arouses him; does he prefer a sexy talk or a non-verbal approach?
Make sure you are setting a non-judgemental environment for this talk. You want him to open up to you and share his sexual fantasies with you.
3. Have it your way with sexting
You probably don't see yourself talking like a pornstar. I get it. Among your fears are being silly, sounding too vulgar, and being rejected because of your clumsy approach. How would you feel about sexting, though?
Expressing your sexy thoughts and desires in writing should be easier. So, when he is at work, don't hesitate to send him a text. Tell him all about what you'd like to do to him when he gets home.
Make him want to arrive home as soon as possible because you are hot and bothered. Use descriptive words with which you're comfortable and can repeat when he is in front of you.
4. Try something new with him
There's no way you can become a pro regarding how to initiate sex if you don't know what your boyfriend likes. He might not know, either. Maybe neither of you are very experienced when it comes to sex. That's why you can propose to him to try something new.
For example, a playful and quite innocent idea would be to play a sex dice game. This involves taking turns and throwing the dice. The result is an action/body part combination - more specifically, 'lick/breasts' and other similar pairs.
Any sex games meant to initiate sex, as well as heighten the passion, are welcome.
5. Make sure your hints don't go unnoticed
The problem with initiating sex is not only related to rejection, but also to missing hints. Maybe your boyfriend missed some of your hints in the past and you took his lack of reaction as a rejection.
When you want to have sex with your boyfriend, leave him a post-it note with a sexy invitation in the bathroom, for example, or in his lunch bag. He will not only be surprised, but he will build up a lot of sexual tension until the moment comes.
Or, you could leave your bra on the bed before you brush your teeth. He won't be able to think of anything else but you, topless, in front of the bathroom mirror. In this way, you also stimulate his imagination, not only making him anticipate sex.
6. Use your body language
Sometimes you can just leave all the tricks and words out. Just use your body to make him feel desired. Depending on what type of man he is, kiss him passionately, or wait no longer and slide your hand down his pants. The approach you take is up to you.
When you think of how to initiate sex, think about what he likes. Tease him with soft touches, or cuddle together if that's what gets him going. Or, free your animal side and ride him like there's no tomorrow.
7. Blot out all possible distractions for one night
For people in long-term relationships and others who have little time on their hands, scheduling sex is an option. While this way might seem restrictive and demanding, it is the best thing for some couples. Consent is still part of the equation. More specifically, if any of you change their mind, your decision should be met with an understanding attitude and compassion and not taken personally.
The pros of scheduling sex are expressed willingness and desire, time to prepare for that specific moment, a boost in morale when it is approaching, and so on.
8. Doll up for your boyfriend
Dolling up for your boyfriend is a great way to initiate lovemaking. On one hand, they say men are visual creatures. On the other hand, you will boost your confidence by showing up in sexy lingerie and provocative makeup.
If looking like a pornstar is not really your thing, and you are not flexible about changing this aspect, then wear just one such item. For example, put on a pair of high heels, wear fishnet stockings, or try babydoll lingerie, which is cute and hot at the same time.
9. Use codewords that unmistakably lead to sex
A direct approach when it comes to getting it on might not work for you or him. You might not want to express your most intimate fantasies using vulgar words. That's why using codewords could be the solution.
Talk to your boyfriend about this, and agree on certain trigger words that you both can use when you are in the mood.
10. Don't forget about complimenting him
According to a scientific study published in 2018 called "I Want You to Want Me: Men Need to Feel Sexually Desired Too", when men receive compliments about their physical appearance, they are turned on.
You can apply the findings of this study in your relationship and even make it your initiation move.
Practice What You're Comfortable With
For starters, pick something you're most comfortable with. After you build up a little confidence and your partner reacts positively, you can try more.
Don't hesitate to express your sexual desires, especially if you are in a committed relationship. Sexual fulfillment is a must-have for the success of your bond.