It feels amazing to be loved passionately. The man you've met has swept you off of your feet with his bold displays of affection for you. If it feels too good to be true, then you might be right. His behavior that you thought meant he loves you is now turning into something a little more sinister. His actions make you wonder, "Is he obsessed with me?"
It's not always easy for women to tell the difference between true love and obsession. At first glance, they seem awfully similar. Read on to discover whether your man truly loves you or if it's a pure obsession he feels.
Things Moved Fast
Looking back, you'll probably agree that things between you moved quite fast. You met him, and suddenly he was your boyfriend. Or perhaps you agreed to go out on a first date and before you knew it, you were together pretty much all the time.
This is a sign of an obsessive personality. It might not be detrimental to your relationship, but dealing with his intensity might prove to be difficult in the future.
He's Kind of Clingy
You used to think that you were so lucky to find a guy who wants to spend all his free time with you. When you're together, he's never too far away, either. He probably likes to keep you at arm's length so that he can cuddle and kiss you whenever he wants.
At first, it was sweet, but now you're realizing that you hardly have any time for yourself, and he can be a little much. It can even start to feel draining as he seems to constantly demand your energy and attention.
He Stalks You in Real Life and on Social Media
Another sign he is obsessed with you is if he always wants to know where you're going and who you'll be with. It wouldn't be surprising to hear that he has even turned up someplace you told him you'll be (and you probably thought it was romantic). Your friends would have been impressed that he's so into you that he wanted to surprise you. But a little voice is telling you the truth - he's just keeping tabs on you.
Even each of the posts on your social media pages has his comments under it. When you see them, you can't help but think, "Is this man obsessed with me?" If he wants to know your every move and follows every update you make on social media, then it's a good indication that you're his obsession.
He Overreacts When He Can't Reach You
Does he constantly want to keep in contact with you? Does he call in the morning to tell you what happened on his way to work and then again in the afternoon to hear what you had for lunch?
If you happen to be too busy to take his call, perhaps your obsessive man will send you a text, and then another - and another. By the time you're able to answer your phone, he has bombarded you with text messages.
It's in these moments when you can see clearly that he's an obsessive person. A normal boyfriend would understand that you're probably busy and that you'll call back when you get a chance, but an obsessive boyfriend will be thinking all kinds of wildly insecure or controlling thoughts that will make him feel it's appropriate to send message after message.
He Tries to Change You
In the early days, you were charmed by his interest in how you dressed, styled your hair, and other little things about you. He told you how he preferred you to look and how he wished you would behave.
But it has now dawned on you that he's only trying to change you into his ideal woman. If your boyfriend is trying to change you, know that it's one of the signs someone is obsessed with you. It's not real love, because a man that loves a woman will accept her and love her just the way she is.
He Gets Angry If He Feels Rejected by You
A man with obsessive tendencies will be quick to anger if he thinks that you are rejecting him. Whether it's his PDA that you uncomfortably wiggle away from or his sexual advances when you're at home - if you're not in the mood, he'll take it personally. He might get angry and yell or storm off.
This is because he feels like you don't want him the way that he wants you. He hopes that if he shows you that he's angry, you won't do it anymore. But this isn't fair for you, and you not being able to speak out about what you want might be becoming a strain on your relationship.
If communicating with him about his temper and fear of rejection doesn't make things better, then it's likely that his obsessive behavior will just get worse.
He Has No Problem With Commitment
For many women, this doesn't sound like a bad thing, but when it comes to the kind of men we are discussing here, it's just another opportunity for you to wonder, 'Is he obsessed with me'?
A level-headed guy will take his time to get to know a girl before talking about marriage and children. Obsessive men have been known to tell a woman on the first day he meets her that she is going to be the mother of his kids.
Of course, dating a man who doesn't want to commit to you can be devastating to a woman, but being with a man that is ready to commit too quickly can end very badly.
He Tries to Isolate You
You used to love spending time with your family and friends, but since you've been with this guy, you barely get to see them. He always manages to get you to be alone with him and might even try to intimidate your friends into avoiding you.
If you've noticed a pattern of him wanting to isolate you, it's a sign he's obsessed with you and wants to keep you all to himself.
He Emotionally Manipulates You
Isn't it strange that he's the one who does something horrible to you, yet you're the one left feeling bad for him? He tells you sad stories of the terrible things that have happened to him so that you feel sorry for him. You're probably already unhappy in your relationship and thinking maybe you should leave, but you're afraid of what it would do to him if you did.
This is one of the tactics an obsessive man will use to control you and get you to do what he wants. It's hard to identify at first, but once you see it, you'll notice he's been emotionally controlling you since the beginning of your relationship.
He Makes Threats About What He'll Do If You Ever Try to Leave Him
I know a girl who started dating a guy who showed all the signs of an obsessive person. At first, all our friends thought he was a great boyfriend who loved her very much. He would buy her jewelry, they would wear matching outfits, and he was protective of her - bordering on being controlling.
It was only after a nasty break up that she was brave enough to tell us what it was really like dating him. When she wanted to leave, he would hit her or lock her in his bathroom for hours. The day he threatened to kill her and throw her off a bridge was when she finally decided to end things with him.
She went to her mom's house and refused to go out for 2 weeks while he sat outside in his car waiting for hours to speak to her. From this experience, we all learned the difference between love and obsession
Summary
Obsession can seem a lot like love, at first. But in time, you'll realize that his behavior towards you doesn't always feel very loving. Real love accepts you for who you are while obsession wants to change you into what someone else wants.
True love gives you the freedom to do what makes you happy with the hope that you'll willingly return to them. Obsession controls and manipulates you to keep you around.
If you want the relationship to work, you might be able to save it with the help of counseling. However, if things between you are becoming dangerously worse, you must find the courage to leave while you can.