There's no faster way to feel like the ugly stepsister than to discover that the hottie you've been crushing on is crushing on someone else. And when that someone else is your very own best friend... ugh, the rejection - the betrayal.
The flood of emotions can be so confusing and overwhelming that it can all seem surreal. It's hard to believe that something you've only ever seen in the cheesy coming-of-age-style movies is actually happening to you in real life.
There are a million ways to handle this situation badly. And there are only a few ways to deal with it so that you don't come out of it emotionally traumatized or make your bestie and object of your effect think that you are a crazy, jealous, miserable mess.
So you're probably asking yourself, What do I do when my crush likes my best friend? Take the advice here to make sure you handle the situation in the healthiest way possible
Accept It
It really won't help anything if you choose to be in denial about the situation. Once he has made his feelings clear, there's no point for you to keep wondering, Does he like me or my friend? The quicker you can accept that the guy prefers your best friend, the sooner you can figure out how you're going to get over it.
Be Understanding
Sometimes when you are able to understand why something has happened, it makes it easier to deal with it. If you take the time to think about things, you might realize that in reality, your best friend and your crush may be more suited for each other.
They both might enjoy sports (you don't); they might love horror movies (you're too much of a baby to even watch the trailers); or they could both be vegans or something along those lines. The fact is, in that case, that it all makes sense, and it was most likely inevitable for them to have ended up together.
Don't Make Comparisons
Don't let this incident mislead you into thinking that your friend must be better than you. It's easy to feel like chopped liver, but as they say, beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
The guy you think is handsome might not believe that you're his type. And another guy might think that your friend is okay looking, but that you're the cutest thing ever.
What Makes Her Likable?
This isn't comparing yourself, but rather more like field research. Maybe your friend is more easygoing than most girls or perhaps she's more girly than the others you all hang out with. If you really want a boyfriend, then you have to be girlfriend material.
If the guys you know like their girls to be into football, then you'll have to learn to love it, too. This doesn't mean you should change who you truly are - just don't isolate yourself by not having anything in common with the guys around you.
Be Honest
It might be hard or humiliating for you, but being as honest as you can help everyone involved. Having to keep your feelings to yourself is not fair to you or your friends. Find the right time to first tell your friend how you feel about the guy that is now showing interest in her. If it's appropriate, speak to the guy you fancy, too.
Let him know that you liked him more than a friend but didn't have the courage to say anything before. Now you understand that it's too late, and you have accepted the way things are.
Set Boundaries
After coming clean about the emotions you're experiencing, you can set boundaries regarding how things will be moving forward. Perhaps things are going to be easier for everyone if you agree not to hang out together as often as you used to.
Just make sure that what you're asking for is reasonable. If your friend cares about your feelings, she will understand and be willing to respect the boundaries you've set.
Suppress Negative Emotions
You will feel all kinds of negative emotions that can swing from one direction to another. At first, you'll be on a carousel of anger, jealousy, sadness, and other negative feelings. It's very important that you're able to resist acting on any of them.
It's highly likely that if you do, you'll regret it. Whenever you feel overwhelmed with these feelings, take a deep breath, take time out, or do anything else you can to help allow the moment to pass. Eventually, it will get easier.
Invest in Yourself
Let's say that now, you have accepted the sad situation, have come to terms with it, and have dealt with the emotional baggage that came with the fact that your crush and your friend are now a happy little couple. You should stop thinking to yourself, My crush likes my friend. Instead, turn your focus on yourself.
Investing in yourself means doing something for you now that will make you a better person in the future. This could include reading a self-improvement book, it could be a gym membership at the hot new fitness center, or it could be learning a new skill or hobby that will help you become a great baker or tennis player. You will be a wonderful catch for the lucky guy that likes you back in the future.
Get Busy With Other Friends
Hanging out with your BFF will probably be awkward or upsetting sometimes. Take the pressure off your friendship by spending time hanging out with your other friends. Allow your BFF to have her time with her new boyfriend while you get to have fun with your single squad.
Try to forget about what happened, and avoid conversations like, My crush likes my best friend.
Find the One
Hopefully, if you're able to follow all the advice explained here, you'll find the guy that's right for you at the right time. It's important that you don't let what you've been through makes you bitter, as that attitude will repel anybody who might be interested in you.
Keep a light, happy heart with positive energy, and you'll be sure to attract your perfect partner!
Summary
Of course, feeling unwanted or betrayed hurts, but acting on these feelings is the worst thing you can do, as difficult as that might seem to avoid doing at the time. We must consider the feelings of the people we care about as well as our own.
Learning to deal with negative emotions in a healthy way is a skill that will serve you well your whole life. Not only will it help you to handle this situation gracefully, but it will also help you become a better person for the guy who will love you for the wonderful woman you are.