The thought of leaving your partner has been going through your mind lately. You can't help but think about the shortcomings of your relationship. Even so, you can't make up your mind. There's something that holds you back from taking action.
Breaking things off with your partner is a very difficult thing to do and once you do it, things will never be the same between the two of you. That's why you have to thoroughly think about it before you make the final decision.
To make the whole process easier for you, we made a list of questions that call for introspection and that will ultimately help you answer the most pressing one: "Should I leave him?"
1. Does your relationship make you happy most of the time?
You will not be one hundred percent happy in any relationship. This is because people also have flaws, not just strengths. It takes a lot of effort to make things work between two people. Even so, do you feel happy most of the time, or does your relationship bring you more pain than joy?
Let's take the past month of your relationship as an example. Did you feel sad, frustrated, and angry more than you felt pleased, safe, and happy?
2. Do you daydream about a life without him?
"Should I stay with him or focus on a life without him?" you might ask yourself from time to time. This question is about figuring out whether you think your life would be easier or more pleasant without him. Maybe you don't enjoy enough freedom by this man's side in order to do what you like. Or, perhaps you are holding back at work just to spend more time with him.
Can you think of many things that you would like to do if you weren't involved in this relationship?
3. Does he behave respectfully and support you?
A healthy relationship is based, among other things, on respect. It is about being honest, open, trustworthy, and considerate. Some men act like they simply forget what respect means, regardless of how long they've been involved in a relationship. Also, they are no longer interested in what the woman next to them is going through, how she feels, and if she needs support or not. Do you feel like this is also your case?
4. Do you expect him to change, or the other way around?
If you expect your partner to change on multiple levels, you really have to ask yourself "Do I want to be with him or with another person who fits my expectations?" Love is about accepting the individuality of another, not shaping his personality until it meets your needs. However, small behavioral changes or other little things related to a healthy interaction are acceptable.
In case he wants you to change, are you comfortable with his requests? Do you agree with him or is he making superficial demands related to your appearance, for example?
5. Do you argue about the same issue over and over again?
When the same issue occurs over and over again, it's a clear sign of trouble. Regardless of what you do, what solutions you agree on and consistently apply, it keeps coming back. Unfortunately, not being able to solve the problem and reliving the same scenario doesn't mean that you should try harder. It means this is the furthest your relationship can go.
Should I leave him? Yes, if you don't want to live in a loop.
6. Is your partner too jealous or possessive?
Jealousy is fed by a person's insecurities and lack of trust. Some women are suffocated by their partners' jealousy and possessiveness although they don't do anything wrong. Just because he sees you talking to a work colleague, he overreacts and makes a big deal out of it. Do you find yourself in this situation?
Or maybe he makes you feel insecure and jealous? This situation can go both ways. Either way, it is not healthy for any of you.
7. Are your fights constructive or abusive?
There is such a thing as a preferred method of fighting. Depending on what type of people you and your partner are, you could both yell at each other before you cool off and discuss things. Or, maybe just one of you feels the need to express their anger and the other shuts down immediately when conflict occurs.
What's important is if you two actually solve something or if you are just calling each other names. Any form of abuse is unhealthy and not recommended.
8. Are your lifestyles and life goals compatible?
A harmonious relationship needs balance. Any incompatibility that occurs between the two of you will change the course of your relationship. In other words, for example, if you constantly want to travel and your partner can't unglue himself from the game console, you will not get what you want. Or, if you want to start a family, but your partner is too focused on work at the moment, you will still not get what you want. All these dissatisfactions will lead to frustrations.
9. Is he criticizing you constantly?
Your partner always finds something to criticize you for. It seems that you can't please him. He makes malicious remarks about your appearance, he calls your passions superficial and unimportant. If so, keep telling yourself that a man who is constantly criticizing you is not worthy of your love. This is not an attempt to challenge you or help you grow.
Numerous women end up losing their self-confidence because they stand by the wrong man's side.
10. Do you laugh together?
Laughter is an important ingredient in any relationship. Does the man you're in a relationship with make you laugh? Is he acting goofy sometimes just because he wants to make you laugh? Do you do the same for him?
Studies have shown that couples with similar types of humor have more fun and fight less, or solve their conflicts easier. Their general attitude towards life is more relaxed.
11. What made you question your relationship?
Has something in particular happened and since then you can't take your mind off leaving him? If your answer is affirmative, then we urge you to think twice before breaking things off. Your judgment might be clouded by anger, stress, and dissatisfaction. Talk things through with him before you do anything reckless.
12. Do you really have a problem or are you just bored?
Ask yourself this: How many of your problems will go away if you break up with your boyfriend? Is he the cause of most of them or are you, in fact, bored? Maybe all you need is to reignite the fire between the two of you. Talk to your partner about this and come up with solutions to revive your relationship. Maybe you're going through a rough patch, which should not be taken as a deal-breaker.
Summary
Give honest answers to all of the above questions. They will help you understand your needs better and make the right decision regarding your relationship. If you rely on introspection, there will be no room for regrets.