Texting Your Ex: Is It Wise?

No breakup is easy, especially if it doesn't happen deliberately. And after some time has gone by, you start asking yourself a question: "should I message my ex"? The answer really depends on the situation. Every love story is unique, so you need to think hard before you use your phone. The text below will help you decide what to do in these situations with a few little tips.

When Should You Definitely Text Him?

  • Even if there were huge misunderstandings and quarrels between you two, you should never be on bad terms with your ex-boyfriend. If you broke up on bad terms, you should text him to tell him that you respect the time you two spent together. This way, you will show him how mature and responsible you are. Even if he did something bad to you, this is a good way to get over it and don't let it bother you ever again.

  • On occasions such as holidays or his birthday, show courtesy and send him a message. Trust me, he will be delighted and happy to see that you haven't forgotten it. He will think of you as a caring and good person. After all, you two crossed paths at one point, and you know each other very well. You really should text him and wish him all the best.

  • If you want to be friends with him, never let your former relationship stop you in building a new one. You can ask him if he wants to be your friend. If he needs time, give him that, but honestly, you can really be friends with your ex. After the break-up, people often tend to realize that they get along much better when they are friends, and you shouldn't lose a good friend only because you have been in a relationship with this person before.

  • If some of your stuff is still in his possession and you want it back, text him freely. You should always be polite, and there is no reason for you not to get back anything that's yours, especially if that's something important to you. So, don't hesitate and text him.

  • Sometimes, some things are left unsaid, and that can hurt us over time. If you truly feel that there is something he should know, tell him. Don't consider yourself pathetic or weak. Brave people are not afraid of their emotions. Maybe you will never get a chance to tell him something in person, and you will feel relief after doing so. And this "should I text my ex?" question will bother you no more.

Circumstances in Which You Should Never Text Him

  • Loneliness is a terrible feeling, so much so that you could literally feel physical pain because of it. You have the urge and there's that question again that arises due to loneliness: "should I text my ex?" No way! You will end up even more hurt and disappointed, and you risk lowering your self-confidence. If you know that your story is truly over, leave it be. One day, you two might end up together again, but you should never force it.

  • Should you text your ex only because you are bored or horny? Never. Especially if he is the one who ended up worse off. Playing with his emotions would be mean, and furthermore, even you could be hurt because of it. You can easily find someone else if you want a hook-up. Never go back to your ex because you need a man. There are plenty of fish in the sea.

  • If he has done anything unacceptable to you, like cheating, berating, or scoffing at you all the time, don't go back to him. You need to know that relationships are about something beautiful, about mutual love and respect. If he has disrespected you in any way, just forget about him. You don't need that kind of a man in your life. Remember that people don't change, and women usually make a mistake because they believe they can change someone. If you forget things that should be unforgettable, they will likely happen again. Therefore, respect yourself and find someone who will truly love and cherish you.

  • If you are in a new relationship, you could make yourself problems by texting your ex. Of course, even if your new partner knew he could trust you, he would not be so happy about it. Ask yourself a question: would you be happy if your partner was texting his ex? Well, probably not. Jealousy is a real thing, and you should never provoke. Also, never hide anything from your new partner. If he realizes that you have been secretly texting your ex, you might get in real trouble. Of course, he would have to respect your choices, but you really don't want him to feel bad. And if you still have feelings for your ex, you shouldn't have even entered new relationships in the first place.


All in all, being on good terms with your ex is not a problem. It's completely okay if you want that. But remember: the only person you should really care about in your life is you! You should put yourself in first place on all occasions. Whatever happened between you and your ex, you need to analyze everything objectively, and then decide whether you should text him or not. Forget your ego and your pride, but never forget your self-respect.

Ana Djurovic
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Hello, my name is Ana Djurovic, and I am a writer interested in various kinds of fields, such as beauty, fitness, art and traveling. I am very curious and always in need to expand my knowledge. I enjoy writing because it's something I can fully invest myself in. I think sharing our stories and experiences is what brings us together.