Nearly everyone has experienced rejection at some point. It can come in different forms, but I defy anyone who claims the rejection didn't hurt their feelings. Confessing your feelings can be daunting. When the response to the confession is not what we wanted to hear, it can be more painful than we might have prepared ourselves for.
Rejection can be especially difficult for girls to handle because traditionally, society doesn't encourage women to make the first move on men.
Knowing how to deal with rejection from a guy is something that most girls are not familiar with. However, these are modern times, and girls have the right to chase after what (and who) they want.
We've put together some tips for girls on how to handle rejection when their attraction to a guy is not reciprocated.
1. Don't beat yourself up
Okay, so you've been knocked back by the guy you like. It's natural to want to crawl into a hole and hide for a year or two, but there are better ways of dealing with the situation.
First, you have to get your thoughts under control. Don't spiral down a rabbit hole of self-loathing. You are not ugly or boring or any other negative characteristic you want to give yourself.
You were brave enough to put yourself out there, and that's not a bad thing. You should feel proud of yourself for having the courage to go after what you want. Whether the other person wanted it too doesn't change this.
2. Think of rejection as feedback
Instead of focusing on the fact that the object of your affection didn't have the same feelings for you, you can choose to learn from it. Take the rejection as feedback. Look at your approach; was it appropriate? Did you misread signs you thought you noticed? Did you not present yourself well? Maybe you came off too nervous or desperate.
Consider if anything like this could have contributed to the negative response. This way, you can make sure you avoid repeating the same mistake again.
3. Understand it wasn't meant to be
You might be a religious person, or maybe you're more spiritually inclined; whichever you are, it's likely that you believe in fate or destiny. This means that you understand that God/the universe might have plans that are different from yours.
Knowing how to handle rejection from a guy is easier if you can accept that it's simply not meant to be. Maybe the guy you fancy makes a good friend but a crappy boyfriend. Perhaps you will bump into your soulmate next month, and he's the one who's meant to be your husband and the father of your children.
You never know what the future holds for you. You hope and pray for good things for yourself, and this rejection might be just that.
4. Have self-compassion
Scientists use MRI machines to test some people's psychological reactions to memories of rejection. By doing so, they have discovered that our brains react the same way to physical pain as it does when we experience rejection. This is why even the most minor circumstances of rejection can hurt more than we think they would.
If you're feeling raw from rejection, understand that it's completely normal. It doesn't mean that what happened was anything more than one guy that wasn't very into you at the time. Don't be carried away by the feelings of heartache or humiliation. Remember that emotional pain (like all pain) will pass in time.
5. Remind yourself of your own value
Reminding yourself of your good qualities will help you reclaim your confidence. Making a list of all the things you love about yourself and what other people compliment you on will help you recognize your own value. You are still all of those things, even if that one guy didn't have the privilege of getting to see it.
If you're worried about how to act around a guy who rejected you, just keep it moving. You can pretend it didn't even happen and carry on as you usually do. Hopefully, he'll get the message that you're not making a big deal out of it and have moved on already.
6. Spend time having fun with family and friends
Distract yourself by spending your free time with your family and friends. Being around people who love you for who you are will put the rejection into perspective. Keeping yourself busy and happy with things you enjoy doing is the best medicine for this kind of pain.
Before you know it, the pain of the rejection will be a distant memory, and you'll probably even wonder what you saw in the guy in the first place
7. Let rejection make you better, not bitter
If you're really getting down on yourself and are feeling so low that making a list of your qualities is hard, then you'll need to set yourself other goals. If you can't think of the things you value about yourself, you're going to have to create them. Make a vow to yourself that you're going to make yourself into someone you would value.
If you want to improve your looks, then choose your inspiration, whether it's a celebrity or someone you know who you admire. Work towards creating your own version of that individual. Read a few self-help books; there are many that can teach you how to be more charismatic and make people enjoy being around you.
The point is not to try to change who you are, but to just work on the areas you would like to feel proud of. It's worth the effort, you only have one life, so make the most of it.
Summary
Knowing how to deal with rejection from a guy might not be something that comes naturally to girls, but having read this article, you can now defend yourself against being consumed by the pain of rejection. Try to accept that it's just not meant to be, and focus on your own happiness in this moment and in the future.