Getting over your first love is quite hard for a variety of reasons. They are your "first", and they brought the feelings you have never experienced before. It's just like when no one talks about their second house. The first one will always win because that "first" allowed them to soar. That "first" showed them the world.
Still, there comes a time when you may have to get over your first "house" so that you can begin living in your second one, a better one. How can you forget such a significant part of your life, or at least, forget it enough to start living again? Here are a few tips on how to get over your first love.
Delete Your First Love From Your World
How are you supposed to get over your first love when you are constantly seeing them? You see their posts on social media, and suddenly, you remember all the things that they love. Or worse, you went with the "let's stay friends" option, and you occasionally hang out. There's no easy way to say this, but the more you hang out or remain in contact with them, the more you'll get that nagging thought "maybe we will make up." You can't get over your first ex if you are indulged in the past.
Stop Fantasizing About Your First Love
After we go through a breakup, we all tend to indulge in past memories and fantasize about our first love. We broke up with them for a reason, but suddenly, it seems no longer so bad anymore. That huge fight becomes a very silly argument in our eyes. We focus on the way we wanted them to be, glorifying their image.
What you should do instead is to open your eyes and see exactly where the problem in your relationship was. Try seeing things objectively: their shortcomings, where they made you unhappy, and so on. After that, create a list of what you really wanted from a relationship.
Write Out a New Perfect Relationship
The best way to get over an old relationship is to make sure what you really want from a relationship – and journaling can be a great help here. Take out your journal and write down what your new relationship will be like. Will they look in a certain way or have a specific personality? What are the types of things that the two of you will be doing together? How would they make you feel? Write all your thoughts and feelings about your ideal partner – allowing the old one to fade in the background.
Realize There Is Nothing Special in Your First Relationship
Most of us tend to hold our first relationship on a pedestal. Because it was the first one, it was something special, which we have to hold on to. However, our first love is nothing special, at least not compared to what's ahead. We love the person we are with, we spend time with them, we cuddle, we hold hands and so on. Every relationship has these things.
Your next relationship would be a better one, where you fall more in love and know how to treat your partner and relationship in a more mature attitude with the previous experience.
Allow Yourself Some Time to Grieve
Every breakup needs a grieving period – especially the one to detach from your first love. You might want to pretend that everything is okay, that you do not feel sad, that you can "fake it until you make it" – but the only thing you will be doing is bottle up your feelings under pressure. This is why you need to give yourself some time to grieve – to wallow over what has been and release those emotions from their bottle. After you are done with your wallowing, you can begin taking action.
Stay Active and Care of Yourself
Don't waste too much time on wallowing and drowning in the endless sea of sorrow. When you are done grieving, move on towards taking more care of yourself. Make sure that you are eating right, sleeping enough, and exercising. Not only will exercising keep your mind off, but it might also improve your self-esteem. Also, treating yourself is not a bad idea. Have a spa day, go out with your friends, practice some yoga, read a book – do those things that will allow both your mind and body to stay active.
Know You Will Meet the Right One
Your first love is not always "the one." They might have been the ones who have broken the ice, but they are not the ones to make summer come. The right one is surely just around the corner. You just have to acknowledge the fact that one day you will meet them and things will get better.
Get Support from Your Friends
At this point, you might not want to tell your friends that you two just broke up, simply because you do not want to rehash those feelings. You want to get better on your own, and only then announce your breakup.
However, opening up to your friends can help you secure things to the ground, as they view things from a different perspective. They'll grieve with you, stop you from taking stupid actions, and make you smile when you need it. They will make the breakup process much easier to deal with.
The Last Weapon: Time
In most cases, time is the ultimate weapon to get over your first love. As time passes, your opinion over relationships will change. You will no longer have the same attitude towards your first love. Plus, over time, you may even meet your second love – and you may learn to love them even more. Just like water washing over sand, time can fade away the feelings from your first love, allowing you to love another person again. You will not feel this way forever.
It's not exactly easy to forget the first person you ever were with. It might take some time, but as long as you take the right steps, things should become much easier. Hopefully, our guide on how to get over your first love managed to help you out.